9.113 The Wee, Small Hours of the Morning

[Halajiin Rabeak]

"Like I haven't been trying, but nobody's been game!" Hal exclaimed, throwing his arms wide in desperation.

[Abarai Loki]

"Halajiin Rabeak," Loki began, with a heavy sigh, "It appears you have been misinformed. The Whaladon is a Jedi vessel, not a whorehouse."

Then, with a casual wave of the hand, the scattered fragments of wood suddenly skittered along the floor and leapt, depositing themselves in a waste receptacle with a hollow clang. Suddenly, Loki scowled, haunted by the ghost of a troubling thought.

"Tell me you haven't been trying to inflict yourself upon the padawans."

[Halajiin Rabeak]

Hal's face screwed up with disgust. "Hell no! First, most of them are way too young, second, that would be a total breach of knight-student trust, and third, I know how that would look," he replied. "I do have some standards, you know."

Shifting his stance from wide and angry to tall and snide, he clarified, "And so you know, I wasn't looking into other Jedi. There's a huge crew onboard the Challenger, and sometimes deep-spacers need friends, got me?"

[Abarai Loki]

It was everything in him not to roll his eyes at that. The more he learnt of Halajiin's sordid little endeavors, the less he wanted to know, and just like that, the discussion had once again been dragged into the murky boorish depths. And this time he only had himself to blame, he thought, bitterly.

"Need I remind you, there are more pressing matters for you to concern yourself with than attempting to... befriend the Challenger's crew," he grimaced, a foul taste in his mouth, then pressed on, "You now have lessons to plan. Council permission pending. There is your new fitness program to look forward to, of course, and should you have any further suggestions, the Jedi Council will listen. Fear not, Halajiin Rabeak. I'm sure, in time, you will find your place again."

[Halajiin Rabeak]

Hal had a perfect barb, the kind of smart-ass reply that comes along maybe only once a year, and would be remembered forever and talked about by both sides for years to come. It was the king of zingers, the sultan of snaps, and as he opened his mouth to let it loose upon the unsuspecting Loki -

-he yawned. The compulsory action ruined every bit of his timing, thus depriving the zing of ever coming to life, and as he shut his jaws at last, fatigue and common sense began to set in.

In mere seconds, Hal's eyes flushed back to pink and his posture slumped. "Yeah, yeah, I know," he said, not trying to dismiss Loki's words, but acknowledging that he understood. "It's just really frustrating, y'know? Thanks for all this, seriously. I didn't mean to throw off your morning's run, and I better let you get back to it."

Scratching an itch behind one of his ears, his eartip flicked and he stifled a second yawn. "But, right now I think my place is back in my bed so I can finally get some sleep. You, uh, you take care, man." Pulling his paw down from his ear, he extended it for a shake. He knew they weren't friends, yet, but at least they were more than acquaintances, now.

[Abarai Loki]

"Until the next bout, Halajiin Rabeak."

After the handshake, Loki took a glance towards the exit, and decided against his morning run. Instead, he watched the weary Nehantite wander off, and summoned a fresh training sword to his hand. Again, that sturdy weight. He closed his eyes and swam in the engulfing silence of the cargo bay. In his mind's eye, he recalled the recent contest in vivid detail; the dry scratch of wood, the thunderous shuffle of feet, blooded eyes and glistening fangs, whistling swings, cracking blows, dodges, parries, and counter-attacks; it was all there, all fashioned from fondest memory.

It was said, of combat, that it reveals the true quality of a man. So, Loki took a long breath, and began to fight. He did not fight alone. His opponent was invisible, and resilient, and strong; he looked forward, with fire in his heart, and resolve in his blade; he pushed onwards, against the storm, and came out on the other side stronger, and roared.

[Halajiin Rabeak]

The walk back to Hal's stateroom was one filled with thoughts - thoughts half-muddled by exhaustion. Though Loki had provided him with several new points of view, Hal's best vision was all in hindsight. Bare footpaws shuffled across the cool deck plates, his tail swaying lightly with each step. Paws stuffed in his pockets, Hal only vaguely looked where he was going, his navigation on autopilot as he delved into the deeper realization that he could never go back home.

This was his Order, now, no matter how little he liked it, or how far it had strayed from his understanding of what the Jedi were supposed to be. He had taken an oath when he was knighted, an oath pledging his undying loyalty to the Order, and all it stood for. Here and now, he had been offered the chance to simply go back to Nehantish and make a new life for himself, but he had turned it down without hesitation, knowing the commitment he had made.

In a way, he had already begun to do his part. Despite spelling and grammar errors, Hal had re-written the fundamentals of a few old texts he knew, and over the course of his time here, he was certain he could fill several volumes from the knowledge which rattled around in his brain. And perhaps that would be enough, he thought. Well, maybe that and helping with teaching how to build lightsabers, and helping teach fencing classes. The tired mongoose's face lifted with a soft smile as he imagined himself being able to take a greater role as a teacher, now, in this era, and perhaps still being able to truly make a difference.

Yes, he would miss the old Order, he imagined as he returned to his stateroom. He would miss his friends, his fellow knights, and he would miss entertaining and playing with the padawans and initiates, but perhaps it had all happened for a reason. His shirt and trousers found their way back to the floor, and he crawled into bed after hitting his light switch.

Closing his eyes, Hal began to formulate a plan to accelerate his status and position among these Jedi, and to help restore confidence to so many who seemed broken. It was daring, it was dangerous, but he had no doubt it was necessary. When he woke, he would put his plan into action. It would be a new day, a move forward toward his new life, and a step away from his old friends, old memories and old feelings.

In a new day he might be able to forget all whom he had loved and lost, but here, alone in the wee, small hours of the morning, it was the time he missed them most of all.