Familiar Taste of Poison - Holding on to Smoke

[Lorna DeLaTour]

Lorna might be enjoying the biscuits and slowly nursing her lightly alcoholic drink; but her attention remained on Grace; and she knew her partner would notice it. It wasn't just how the Director operated but knowledge of how they worked together or chatted if off-duty. It had been many months now and the doctor didn't want to pressure the other woman but she knew that at some point the conversation, whatever it was to entail, was going to happen, would it only be because Grace had brought it up in the first place.

In a weird way, what happened next was a relief. She let her say her piece before speaking up.

"I'm not good at it either, so that makes two of us."

She had never been to the point of doing this potential "relationship" stuff. It had never been her style and here she was.

"Well... I gathered you had imperial origins based on your name from the moment I heard it, I know you're near human, though I have no idea which kind, given your fast healing abilities. Your sharp senses are likely due to that too, unless it's Force talents, cybernetic enhancements, or a combination of any of these three things. And I know you have your daughter Bryna."

She paused, considering what to ask.

"You have a knack for fantastic places to eat at, including hole-in-the-walls ones. And you just mentioned playing smashball."

She slightly tilted her head to the side.

"What is your favorite part about your work?"

It might seem weird to pick up career as a topic; but she knew Grace's work ethic and how important her job was.

[Grace Van-Derveld]

Given Lorna's occupation, Grace was not surprised by the doc's power of observation. Smart, perceptive, assertive - the qualities of a fantastic medical operative. There was a lot of information left out of the cliff notes of Grace's life but those were the headers. And considering she's been from side of the galaxy to other, her ability to make friends, enemies, and find wonderful places to eat was just a given. Also she was not that great of a cook so ... one had to eat more than ration bars when out and about.

But she could tell Lorna wasn't finished yet ... mainly sensed it. Regardless the question threw her for a second.

"You want to know that?" She knew how to answer it but out of everything that Lorna mentioned and was left unsaid, she was just surprised that a work related question was what she asked first. "Well ... the best part of the job is doing enough, even if it's a little, to do something right. As shitty as my job can be, that's what makes it worth it. Being able to help in whatever way I can. I joined the Rebellion to serve a higher purpose and in a selfish way, now the New Republic helps me stay... me. So I don't stray from ..." She loss contact with Lorna's eyes and played with the condensation on her glass, tracing nonsensical patterns. "Stray away from what's right."

She frowned, looking disgusted with herself.

[Lorna DeLaTour]

Lorna chuckled at Grace's surprise about the question asked. Then she listened to what her partner shared, without interrupting her. Some of what she said didn't come as a surprise; but it still shed some extra light on the Director's values and how important actively working for the New Republic was to her.

"Your work is a huge part of your life, of you. I've seen you do your job and if we're with the Alliance, there are likely reason for it; but knowing more about your motivations is not the same thing. And as a medical doctor I understand about the importance of doing enough, even if in the little things."

She had noticed Grace's expression as she finished speaking.

"I take it your imperial family is still actively loyalist?"

She shrugged slightly. Not all imperials were utter garbage and devils; but she had seen enough horror coming from the culture she was born in, from her family, her fellow students, her mentors, and many she had never met but whose victims she had helped in the last fifteen years.

"I had heard the name when growing up but I never paid much attention to the politics, so if I sound dumb about it, that's why."

[Grace Van-Derveld]

"Oh yes," she confirmed with utter contempt dripping from each word. "I've got no idea what my parents are up to since I haven't spoken to them since I've defected, but they're Empire through and through. Growing up, me and my brother were fed the dogma, groomed to serve. They didn't care in what way."

The waiter came back with biscuits and drinks and Grace continued because this little tidbit was known.

"So me and Vega, my brother, both went to the Corulag Academy and there our paths diverged. I'm sure you know the name. Vega Van-Derveld?" Her brows raised in question and looked for any sign of recognition from Lorna. "He tried to whack Moff Miranda a few years back. And her husband. Has a hard on for taking out the Empire. An extremist. And quite dangerous. He stands for everything I don't."

And she stopped there, afraid. Afraid of how the conversation would go as she paled.

[Lorna DeLaTour]

That sounded like Lorna's own family. She hadn't talked to them since she had left the Empire as well. She kept loose tabs on her Lorrdian grandmother at times, and her cousin Morgana, but even that was minimal. She wanted no association with the society she had grown up with. Ironically she kept better track of some imperial scientific development featured in conferences and publications.

"Fed the dogma sounds familiar. My father's human side of the family wanted us half-breeds to redeem ourselves by doing grand things for the Empire."

She groaned and drank the rest of her cider. What Grace said next about her brother had the doctor think about it and connect dots. She remembered having seen that Grace's brother was a wanted criminal but hadn't looked into details. And she had heard about the attack against Moff Tarkin, but only months later given where she worked at that time.

"I didn't realize he was that psychopath. I was near Wild Space back then and even headlines didn't reach us that much then."

She felt really stupid for not having got the whole picture better.

"At least your daughter is away from the imperial shit show and out of his reach. She has one of the most badass mothers in the galaxy."

[Grace Van-Derveld]

"Yep." The p was emphasized with the press of the lips and annoying release of sound that got old really quickly if done in rapid succession. "That psychopath. But don't worry. Considering where you were it's understandable why it didn't connect at first."

The mention of Bryna brightened her face. "She's a Padawan. Funny part is one of her masters is Tarkin's twin."

That made her deviously chuckle. "I love the irony."

[Lorna DeLaTour]

Lorna was glad that she didn't make a complete ass out of herself regarding Grace's brother. It wasn't the first time she had missed on some big galactic headlines due to being in a remote sector for her work. That was one of the perks of having been on Jovan and then more involved in Alliance missions.

She smiled at the change in the brunette upon mention of her daughter. She couldn't help chuckle at the fact Tarkin's twin had a hand in Bryna's training.

"That's a good one! How old is Bryna?"

Another thought crossed her mind, based on having made the connection about the psychopath and also the fact that Grace had these extra sharp senses.

"Did Bryna get her Force sensitivity from you? It just seems that you might have some of that."

[Grace Van-Derveld]

"She's 19," she said with a wry smile. "And gets into as much trouble as I did at her age."

Brash. Brave. Intelligent. If the medical examination upon Bryna's arrival hadn't confirmed the genetic history, her behavior would've - if you ignored the fact that she practically looked like a miniature Grace.

Grace anticipated the next question and confirmed with a nod. "Your insights serve you well," she said in a mocked wise Jediish voice. "But seriously, yeah. Me and brother are very ... strong with the Force. If our parents were, I don't have a clue. Maybe it skipped a generation. Maybe they hid it but ... yeeeeah.."

With a wistful shake of her head, Grace took a sip of her ale to collect her thoughts. "I don't do it on purpose. It's just ... intuitive. Feeling things. Intent. Lies. Truths." She locked eyes on Lorna and looked apologetic. "Sometimes ... more."

Her eyes darted to the side as she saw their waiter exit the back room where the kitchen was. "I pride myself on control because I hate being Force sensitive. Because of what it did to my brother. I don't want to become that. Or be tempted to. But lately ..."

The waiter arrived and with a flourish brought the plates into view, setting them in front of as they were announced. "Shrimp and artichoke amalfi for Miss DeLaTour. Taglioni with lobster for Madam Director."

Grace tore her eyes away to assess the food and raised two fingers in approval. "Smells and looks good. As usual. Tell the chef thank you for getting this out so fast."

"Gron fa, ladies!" He said with a small bow, wishing them good eats as he took his leave.

"... lately it's been harder to keep my abilities in check," she admitted, picking up where she left off as she unfolded her napkin.

[Lorna DeLaTour]

Lorna enjoyed seeing Grace's face light up when she talked about her daughter. She chuckled at the last part. It was easy to imagine Grace get into trouble at that age, just like she had as well. And that had been even before defecting.

"Walking in your footsteps, then?"

With a smile, she finished another biscuit but stopped to keep room for the main course. She realized that Grace didn't deny being near-human, and the whole Force sensitivity made a lot of sense based on their interaction over the past year.

Upon the brunette's admission that she could pick on things even instinctively, she felt color creep up her cheeks. Her mind decided it was timely to wonder if she had gleaned anything after a certain explicit and memorable dream she had had at the end of their undercover. If she had, she nicely kept it to herself.

Her attention went to the waiter when their mouth-watering dishes arrived.

"This looks and smells fantastic. Thank you!"

Without hesitation, she dug into her food, although she still gave a quizzical look at her partner.

"Has it?"

Great job, Lorna, great job. Good thing you're a doctor, not an orator.

[Grace Van-Derveld]

"Not literally, but yes." Grace chuckled, picking up her utensils. "Master Tarkin and Nythercicia have expressed she's quite talented but also a handful."

She winked. "Makes me a proud mom."

It felt really good to say that aloud and so accepting of who Bryna was in her life. They have come a long way together and regardless of the how and why, she was grateful to have these moments with her daughter.

"Yes," with a raised brow and smirk, Grace continued to swirl the pasta into a neat morsel against the spoon. "It has. With you ... the Force has been more ... overt. That hasn't happened in decades."

She stated it casually as if being debriefed and ate. Inside she was a mess and immediately felt Lorna's embarrassment. Swallowing she pointed her spoon at Lorna. "Case in point. I don't know what it is you're embarrassed about but you are."

[Lorna DeLaTour]

"I'm glad. Does she look much like you?"

Lorna was happy to see Grace talk about Bryna. She knew the Director sent regular messages to her daughter during down time or en route to missions. She had been surprised when she had first learned that her partner had a child; but she had meant what she said that Grace was one of the most badass moms someone could have.

She tilted her head at the brunette's admission about the Force having bee more overt regarding her. She likely looked ridiculous as she had a mouthful of food as she did that. She put herself together, swallowed and then made a face at Grace's words about her embarrassed state.

"Well...."

She could as well own it at this point.

"Did you sense something weird about me the last morning of our undercover mission? I remember feeling silly because I had a very explicit dream about you. I had no problem compartmentalizing the undercover pretend part and our working partnership so I felt ridiculous."

[Grace Van-Derveld]

Nodding, she wiped her mouth and cued up a picture of Bryna on her wristpad. "Here she is."

Once Lorna got a good look she gazed down at the picture with fondness. She made a mental note to write Bryna before bed tonight.

She brought her arm back and closed down the image before returning to eat. Which didn't last long. Grace stopped her hand in midair because Lorna looked rather adorable. Whatever the doc was embarrassed about had to be good. She encouraged Lorna to continue with a gentle upturn of her lips before eating again. Which was a mistake, she almost choked on a strand of pasta but brought up a closed fist to her mouth and gave one good hard cough to clear her throat.

"You ... you ..." she blinked now feeling foolish for her assumptions that night. "I thought you had a nightmare!"

[Lorna DeLaTour]

Lorna smiled as she looked at the picture of Bryna.

"Thank you. I'm happy to put a face to her name, and yes, she does look like you!"

She appreciated that Grace shared this with her. For sure the younger woman couldn't deny personality nor looks she got from her mother!

Of course, the Director's reaction to the embarrassing story she shared was priceless as well, and if Lorna hadn't felt silly, she would have found the whole thing amusing.

She felt her whole face turning redder if possible, before she looked in shock at the brunette.

"You... You thought I had a nightmare?"

Oh shit, did she make any sound during the dream? Damn it she hoped not. Also her expression grew concerned.

"Are you okay? Please don't get killed by pasta because of my sexy dream."

[Grace Van-Derveld]

Another cough went into a closed fist, then a second as Grace fought with the wayward strand of pasta after Lorna said sexy dream. She was not used to this talk at all!

"Just ..." she waved hand and forcefully swallowed several times to work the dangling strand back up into her mouth. She tucked it against the inside cheek with her tongue and worked out the tickle in her throat with several more loud coughs. Once the tickle became dull and controlled, she took Lorna's water and gulped down a few sips. Her breathing slowed as she set the glass down.

"Okay." She cleared her throat then swallowed the pasta down. "Better."

Then she looked shrewdly at the doc, one of the scant times the director's cheeks were tinged pink with embarrassment. "You were moaning in your sleep. I was ... incorrect in my presumption why ..."

[Lorna DeLaTour]

Lorna stared at Grace coughing and struggle with the dangling strand of pasta. While it was utterly adorable, she mostly wanted to make sure her partner was going to be okay. The doctor in her was scrutinizing the Director to make sure no emergency happened. Truth be told, she hadn't expected the brunette to have such a reaction to her admission.

She waited patiently and let out a sigh of relief when Grace said all was fine. Good thing she had decided to go for water after her cider instead of some fizzy drink.

She noticed the slight color on her date's cheeks; but she felt her own face turn red at the mention of her sleep-moaning. She knew she could do that but at the same time nobody was there to hear them.

"Ugh... Of course I did," she groaned, running her hand over her face before taking a deep breath.

"Maybe we should have saved the adult beverages for embarrassing story time," she added wryly as she looked at Grace again.

[Grace Van-Derveld]

The heat in her cheeks cooled off at that look then Grace picked up her fork to absently played with a lobster piece. "I actually don't have any stories that are embarrassing when it comes to that."

Her jaw tightened with debate, teeth grinding together with uncertainty but when she looked up at Lorna's playful and gentle face, her jaw relaxed. "I've only ever had one experience. And it wasn't ... good."

The look in her tumultuous eyes spoke of the pain the director was trying to admit. "So yeah. I've never been in an actual relationship. Or had any ... willing encounters ..."

[Lorna DeLaTour]

Lorna took another bite from her food, definitely understanding why it was such a famous restaurant. It was some of the most wonderful seafood she had ever eaten.

She quirked a brow at Grace's next words and she felt concern flare up at the expression change in the brunette and what she said next. Besides being surprised that the Director only had one sexual experience, the fact that it had visibly been abusive made her blood boil. She had suffered harassment back when with the Empire and in one of her jobs later on; but it had never gone that far.

"I wouldn't have guessed any of it, and I appreciate you trusting me with this," she eventually responded, unsure of what to say.

"I hope that me kissing you earlier on wasn't completely inappropriate."

While they had made out undercover it had been their fake identities, so it had just been work, much different than what had happened earlier that day. She normally did her best not to overstep boundaries.

[Grace Van-Derveld]

Grace nodded with thankful eyes despite her throat feeling too tight. She had only verbally shared this part of her past with three individuals, four if Bryna knew but it wasn't a topic that needed to be brought up. She postulated that when her daughter was ready, she would share the tragedies of her past so it was likely that this other Grace from another future timeline would too.

That really was a headache induing thought. She really thought of Bryna as hers and easily compartmentalized the truth of her origins.

"Nah ... it's alright," Grace said softly. "You didn't. Emotions were, well are, high. And ... I suppose my first kiss could've been worse."

That trademark smirk that Lorna became familiar with through the months peek through for a moment.

[Lorna DeLaTour]

Lorna both wanted to give a hug to Grace and kill whoever had abused her. As a doctor, her oath was to help people but she was fine getting rid of monsters.

She looked attentively at the brunette, giving her as much time she needed to answer, hoping she hadn't made things worse. She nodded at the mention of emotions running high, because it had really been the case.

She hadn't realized she had been holding her breath until she exhaled when Grace told her she hadn't done anything wrong.

"I'm glad. No matter what happens between us, it matters to me that I don't cross boundaries."

She flashed a slight grin at her partner, relaxing a bit.

"I'm glad it wasn't too bad though," she added with a chuckle.

[Grace Van-Derveld]

"I know you do," Grace said quietly, thinking through the impact of those words because Lorna did care. However and whenever it happened, the doc was secure in their friendship and working relationship that she'd respect Grace's decision.

She cared about Grace and how she felt. It was known because that was all Grace felt in the moment was the doc's honesty embracing her through the Force. She couldn't block it. There was no way she could without training.

"My control slips when I'm with you. Like this." She gestured randomly around her. "Casual. That's never happened before. Even with ..."

She sighed and clenched her teeth before blowing out a breath. "Even with Dasquian. I had control over my ... abilities."

As she recollected, Grace kept Lorna's gaze because this admission remained close to her heart. "Even when I was guilty over his capture, or when I was afraid if I'd ever see him alive again, or so, so fucking angry at the galaxy for the Empire taking him from me... "

Fingers uncoiled from the silverware she was holding and the fork hit the table with a clunk. "All of those emotions, you'd think I'd lose control. Tip over the edge at some point. But I didn't."

Her lips pursed together as she swallowed hard. "But it was you that I've known for months instead of a man that I've known for years that leaves me defenseless ..."