Songs of the Dragonborn

[Akasha]

I don't want to say I'm putting you out of business, Wulthgar, but I think this has some potential.


The moons glow white on High Hrothgar tonight,
Not a dragon to be seen.
The fate of the world is written,
And it spells out: Dovahkiin.
I played for hours putting off the story quest.
Couldn't keep away, though I tried my best.

It's open-world, it's story-free,
Just pretend you're another NPC!
Don't let them hear, don't speak the words--
Well, now they've heard!

Fus ro dah! Fus ro dah!
The campaign is such a bore!
Fus ro dah! Fus ro dah!
Who's got time for all that lore?
I don't care how you're supposed to play!
Let the Thu'um rage on,
Dragons never bothered me anyway!

It's funny how some Greybeards
Can make anything sound lame,
Or how some planet-eating dragon thinks
He can beat me at my own game!

It's time to see what I can do,
To push the limits of the GPU!
No gameplay hints, No FAQ for me,
I'm free!

Fus ro dah! Fus ro dah!
I'm the Unrelenting Force!
Fus ro dah! Fus ro dah!
Watch me catapult that horse!
No more bounty's
Gonna ruin my day!
Let the Thu'um rage on--

It's time to cash in every exploit that I've found!
With potions and enchanted gear minmaxing all around!
And when I'm sick of that, I'll try out all the mods!
I'm never going back!
I'm stronger than the gods!

Fus ro dah! Fus ro dah!
I can use console commands!
Fus ro dah! Fus ro dah!
If this were online, I'd be banned!
I don't care if I break the game!
Let the Thu'um rage on,
Dragons never bothered me anyway.

[Wulthgar Milk-Drinker]

Bravissimo, my hirsute wordsmith. Ne'er has such creative energy flowed with such passionate alacrity from one whose free time pursuits normally demand preening in fussy excess. Nevermind that I might feel the prosaic gauntlet's sting upon my cheek, the thrill of the warrior poet lies within the battle of stanza and verse, and you shall find in me an adversary who knows not retreat.

If you will permit that I might duet with you in this ballad.

I'm gonna be a mighty Thane
So enemies beware!

The Jarl would never have a hand
With that much body hair

I'm gonna be the Thane event
Like no Khajit was before
My sword is sharp, my wits are keen
No thu'um but I can roar!

For a future rug, you're looking rather plain

Oh, I just can't wait to be Thane!

Jarl commands I do this
Gives me a house to live there
Jarl commands I fight that
Because I do not know fear
Now see here
Free to do it all my way
At least when it is my off day

I think it's time that you and I
Arranged a heart to heart

Thanes don't need advice
From Nordic half-men for a start

If this is where the Jarl's hold is headed
Count me out
Out of patronage, out of Skyrim
I wouldn't hang about
This cat is fast becoming such a pain

Oh, I just can't wait to be Thane

Everybody look left
Everybody look right
Everywhere you look I'm
Standing to the Jarl's right

Let every peasant shout out and proclaim
Both Stormcloak and Imperial exclaim
The Jarl's Thane and Akasha is her name

Oh, I just can't wait to be Thane!
Oh, I just can't wait to be Thane!
Oh, I just can't wait to be Thane!

[Akasha]

Well done, good sir, well done! Yet we should not drink too deeply of the wine of levity without first tempering it with the mead of tragedy, or something like that. With this in mind, I present Aela's touching entreaty to the newest member of the Companions:


(Knock knock, knock-knock knock)
Do you wanna be a werewolf?
Come on, let's go and prey!
You've been a real Companion stud,
So drink this blood
And we'll be on our way!
We hunt with noble Hircine
Every night
By the light of the silver mooooooon
So do you wanna be a werewolf?
(You're gonna have to be a werewolf!)
*Go away, Aela!*
Okay, soon!

*Time passes*

(Knock knock, knock-knock knock)
Do you wanna be a werewolf?
It's time to pay your dues!
I want to get my mauling on!
I've started gnawing on
This smelly pair of shoes
(Wash your feet, Farkas!)
It gets a little lonely
All these quiet nights
Just watching the moons sail by--
Awoooooooooooo!

*Expository montage*

(Knock, knock, knock)
Dragonborn?

Okay, I'm feeling desperate.
Our ranks are getting thin.
Decimated by the Silver Hand.
I understand -
It's looking grim!
But we still have each other.
You're the Dovahkiin.
I know you can pull us through!
Do you want to be a werewolf?