Rise and Fall (Ezra)

Uniform clean and on, boots laced, daggers in place, hair pulled back in a plated tail and the serpent wound round her waist, Jins arrived in her first class and looked around. She was told the class was just starting, so her arrival wasn't going to leave her more than a day or so behind. She was fine with that as she found a place on the benches around the room as the others took their seats as if a silent bell had sounded she, somehow, had missed.

The instructor walked in, gave a brief introduction and then paired the students up as they had been the day before, each before a stack of three weighted cargo containers. The five who were left, of which Jinsala was one, were paired off in a set of two, and a set of three. The young woman found herself paired with a human male, Marcus, and a human female named Urnesta. Marcus was older than the two girls and decided he would show them how it was done.

The point of the exercise, her instructor told the new five, was to bring a sense of calm to your center. To let your emotions drain away and feel your feet beneath you. With this balance, you could then fill your body with the Force and use that as an extension of your arms and senses to lift the boxes and restack them beside their current location.

Marcus sneered the whole time as if he were above all the petty instruction. His parents were Jedi, he boasted and claimed that school was merely a formality. He had been told at a young age he had the gift. When Jins dared to ask why he was just beginning to learn now, late as she was, he merely scoffed at her proceeded to ignore her. Urnesta, on the other hand, beamed at him like he was her personal Master. She had only just been discovered, since no one around her was gifted, and this was her chance to learn and go home to help those less fortunate. Jins merely nodded when asked if that was her reason for being here. She had no desire to let them know that there were hotter reasons that burned in her.

As Marcus took his turn, the boxes toppled, fell, and were restacked twice by the instructor as he was told he needed to clear his mind first. He finally managed, but was so frustrated, his boxes were once more barely balanced and Jins actually had to physically push one to keep it from falling on the oblivious third member of their little party.

When it came her turn, she took a deep breath and tried to calm herself. But as she did so, she frowned. She had felt the Force before, with Ezra, and it hadn't felt like this. This was... diluted... somehow. She set both arms out before her and barely wavered the top box. Taking a breath and trying once more, she did it again. But again, nothing of significance happened. Wondering if Ezra had merely glimpsed a moment of panic, she shook her head and mumbled. "No... he said I had to unlearn everything. To rid myself of those boundaries." She tried once more but as failure mocked her a third time, rage rose in her. An anger at being a failure once more consumed her and the heat she felt in her stomach radiated out from her and the box shot straight into the air.

A cry of alarm went up but as the teacher turned, a half second before the Force whisked the box in the air, Jins realized what she had done and her eyes widened as her grin of triumph did. She sent her arms skyward and managed to halt the box mid air. She had been shocked enough by what had occurred that she wasn't sure what to do next. The teacher came to her side, rested a hand on her shoulder and spoke softly. Jinsala doubted anyone was listening, being so enraptured by the box hovering several meters in the air. "Pull it back, Wayani... draw the heat back into you. Shorten your reach with it so it lowers to where you desire it." The words of encouragement, wavering with what Jins guessed was disappointment, continued till the box lay perfectly balanced back on the stack.

A gasp of held breath escaped her lungs as Jins looked to Marcus who seemed hell bent on revenge and his look made her realize she would have to watch her back with him. The teacher tapped her shoulder and nodded before walking away. "Learn control, Wayani." Was all she said as she moved to the comm near the podium she taught from. "You are next, Miss Nills." She directed Urnesta. Jins stepped back and let Urnesta and Marcus have another go at it. She felt the serpent roll around her mid section. But whether it was agitated at her holding her breath, or comforting her on her success, she had no idea.

The instructor tapped out a message to Ezra's personal box...

"Sir... the student you sent to me needs more work before being advanced. Today in class she allowed her rage to fuel her and the lesson nearly crashed into the ceiling. She will be held back at the cycle turn next week if she does not get her emotions under control. Rage is a dangerous emotion to draw on and should not be encouraged.

I am sure you understand. I am willing to work with her, with your permission of course.

Sincerely,
Master Princeta Donar
Force Motion Instructor"

The message was sent and the woman watched as they took turns once more. Jins control this time was a bit better, the box not lifting quite so high, but the anger in the girl still being the driving force of her power. She shook her head and knew this one would take a firm and gentle hand to guide. She had potential but her lack of centering would be her undoing. The girl needed to learn to use 'all' her emotions.

Another day of boring paperwork and handshaking. This was the tedium that Ezra had been gifted by Frygt. She had promised him a new Sith Order from which he would have all the resources he needed to continue his experiments. Instead she succumbed to a force meditation inspired coma and had yet to wake. Now he bore the burden of running the school and overseeing the rise of the new Sith Order. Together they robbed him of all his free time. It had been days since he had done more than feed his pets. Even up here he could feel their restlessness and hunger. It wasn't through the force that he felt it, but rather the special connection they shared.

The force could not penetrate into or escape the catacombs, not since he installed the barrier.

A carefully worded message to the Secretary of Agriculture and Lifestock was sitting half written on his screen, asking for the donation of animal carcasses for students to dissect. He had been starring at it for fifteen minutes now, trying to muster the will to finish the tedious task. A new window popped up on his screen containing a new message from the Donar, the Motion teacher. He read through it. Three times. There was no hesitation as he opened up a reply and punch in an apology and a very simple instruction.

Send her to my office when your class has finished.

Unaware of the exchange between her teacher and her mentor, Jinsala went on with class as they did one more round with the exercise. The girl in her group, Urnesta, finally got the hang of it with a bit of encouragement from Jins. But Marcus refused the help and once more, his attempt almost toppled over onto the girls. While Jins had used frustration and rage the first time, she dampened it this time. The feelings that drove her to stack the crates with near perfection this time around were still more negative than positive, but she kept the expression neutral on her face and watched the teacher nod to her.

When the class was done, Jinasala gathered her small bag with the holocrons and personal info sticks and was heading for the door when the teacher called her to stay a moment. Marcus' sneer, assuming she was in trouble, was prevalent on his face as she passed. A slight growl echoed deep in her throat as she listened to him snicker as he disappeared from the room.

"Ms Wayani," the teacher clasped her hands in front of her and smiled. "I am not sure what your past has been like, and I will not pry. But you are drawing on emotions that are dangerous." She moved around the podium and stood before the young woman. "I have conferred with your sponsor and he would like to see you. You must learn to set aside the negative emotions, Jinsala." She smiled gently to ease the rebuke. "There is no good that comes from holding on to such feelings." She patted the woman's arm and nodded to the door. "You are to go to him now, before your next class. I have sent word to your ethics teacher about your pending tardiness."

The dismissal, though politely made, was a dismissal none the less.

About an hour after the missive had been sent, Jinsala was standing outside Ezra's office. She could still feel the serpent around her waist but it was small comfort. She had only been in the Academy a few days and already she was up for disciplinary action. The idea did not sit well with her and she bit her lip as she set her bag down on the inner office bench and knocked on his door. "It's Jinsala, Sir." She called through the door. When she was allowed entry, she would come in, dressed in student gear and robes with her hair plated neatly down her back. "You sent for me, Sir?"

The sharp exclamation of knuckles on wood shattered his focus and pulled him from his place of deep thought. Glancing up at the chrono on the wall he noticed that time had escaped him again. It put a frown on his face. The hour had ended and he had only just finished drafting this message. It was beginning to feel that this job, this farce, was stealing the very grains of sand from his hourglass. In no time at all he would be dead at this rate. Signing the message and sending it off took only a second, and then he closed everything else on his holographic screen and banished it.

"Come in, Ms. Wayani."

With the hologram banished it left his desk empty and his vision unobscured. There were no decorations, no distractions, cluttering it's top. Everything was neat, tidy, and in it's place; as was the rest of the office. Every container, filing cabinet, or drawer was labeled with it's intended contents. The walls were lined with bookshelves filled with books. A large window to the side looked out over the grounds of the castle. The only furnishings was the desk, which was a large affair, Ezra's chair, and two chairs positioned in front of the desk. Ezra's already small form looked even smaller hidden behind the desk.

"Please, have a seat."

Sitting straight in his seat, with his hands clasped on the desktop in front of him, he watched the student sit down through eyes that projected a lack of amusement at the situation. Not quite annoyance. More like the face of a parent who has to deal with the honest mistake of a child. His uniform was crisp and well cared for. It was similar to what all the students wore but with additional pip and emblems to make him stand out as the Chancellor of the Academy. Black with silver and gold accents. It was a very military look that gave a sense of organization and formality. It was a necessity that the school be presentable to visiting applicants.

"Do you know why I've called you here?"

Stepping into the office, Jins walked over and took the seat he motioned to. "Yes, Sir." She mumbled and sat down. She didn't lounge casually, she wasn't stiff in the seat either.

When he asked if she was aware for her being there, she nodded. "I believe since it's after this class, Sir, it's because of my behavior against another student. Marcus?" She wasn't aware of the worry of the teacher and just figured her growled words to the hotheaded pompous pinhead had been overheard by the teacher. "I will not apologize for what I said to him. But I give you my word I will hold my tongue next time." She wasn't one to cower or be apologetic after her actions. Sometimes she reacted without thinking, she knew that. But in Marcus' case, her words and actions to him would be the exact same were the situation to present itself again.

His eyebrow raised a moment before settling back down.

"No. That is not the reason, but let us put a pin in that for later."

While the Sith Order had no qualms with bullying, Ezra still did not look favorably upon it, and neither did this Academy. He had been on the brunt end of it many times in his childhood. The Sith Order belief that sort of strife made one stronger, or weeded out the weak. The former Sith Order in it's twilight years had become a place of cooperation and peace coexistence between it's members. At times perhaps a little too yuppy, but it had created a wonderfully safe environment for someone like Ezra to learn and grow. While he doubted that precise environment could be recreated, he would still prefer teamwork and cooperation over the backstabbing and infighting that the Sith were known for.

"The reason you are here, Ms. Wayani, is because your teacher, Mrs. Donar, sent me a message about you losing control in class. In your own words, please explain the situation to me."

Ezra had great hopes for Jinsala, but that did not mean that she could not amount to nothing. A failure. He would provide her a shovel and she would have to decide if she wanted to dig a hole with it or not. He was not altogether worried. Already the cogs and gears of his mind were turning, making plans, and plans within plans. He had much in store for this hotheaded, violent young woman.

Losing control...

She had lost control twice. Once with her temper with the young upstart. But She had the feeling the second time, with the lesson on lifting. Taking a deep breath and trying to rein in the anger she felt all over again at the negative attention the power had drawn to her.

"The instructor wanted us to lift an empty cargo container and set it upon a stack. We were to find a calm spot within ourselves, draw on the calmness and use that power for the box." She settled her shoulders and straightened her spine as she looked at Ezra. "It wouldn't work for me. I barely made the box move. When I grew angry at the lack of result, my anger welled up like a warm wash of wind. The feeling filled me and the box nearly slammed into the ceiling. I stopped it before it hit." There was a touch of pride on her accomplishment. "The teacher noticed and told me anger wasn't the way." She felt the chastise sting her even as she remembered it. "The second time I did the exercise, I drew on anger again, and it worked perfectly. The teacher's look, I realize now, meant I didn't fool her like I had my two classmates who assumed I'd found my 'happy place'."

Part of her knew she had mastered the simple assignment faster than her classmates. And that there was pride in her mind for that. The fact she'd drawn on something dark, and that she had been told that was wrong, made her feel a bit ashamed.

Thinking Ezra would say what the instructor had, she swallowed her pride and finished. "But I Will try extra hard to find that calm if that's the proper way. I promise." She knew it would be hard, but if power was the prize, it would hopefully be worth it.

Ezra listened, his face an impassive mask. His unblinking blue eyes kept eye contact. When she finished her explanation he sat in silence a few moments, digesting the story. There were many ways to approach this situation. Nurturing was not his way, nor was he going to discipline her when she had done the very thing he wanted of her. However he could not just come out and declare as much. It would not reflect well on him if it got out. Still, there were ways to influence the growth of a sapling without getting overly involved.

"You will have to forgive Master Donar. She is very old fashioned. Surviving the purge will do that to you. Here at the Tanaab Academy we do not teach a singular path or any ideology. How you choose to use the force is your choice. I will have a word with her on the subject. I want to encourage you to find the path that works best for you. I have but one caveat. Even if you draw upon anger and frustration you must still manage to control it. How you channel the force is unsubstantial if you cannot control it. Without control you put yourself and everyone around you in danger. Do not take that as a harsh criticism of yourself. It is simply a statement of truth. I have confidence that you will grow stronger and learn to control your powers.

Tell me, how does it make you feel to use your anger to channel your force compared to using peace of mind?"

A mental sigh of relief fell over Jins' face. She had expected that the rage she had initially used was going to get her tossed out on her backside. As he spoke of controlling her anger if she used it, she nodded solemnly. "I will, Sir."

When he asked about using the anger versus using a more peaceful mind, she wasn't sure her answer would please him. But she knew, from the other two times she had called on darker emotions, that she could learn control. So it was better to be up front than lie. She managed to hide what emotions she had used from the teacher, but something told her she wouldn't be able to hide them from Ezra. "Peace of mind..." she began and started to look at her hands as if embarrassed. "Peace of mind is used to calm yourself, become invisible, slow your breathing." She looked up. "You use the blankness of that place to hide yourself when you don't want to be seen, or you want to fall asleep. But there is no strength there. Determination, rage, pain, anger... those places," she lifted her chin slightly as her eyes shone. "They have power, strength. They are the emotions that well up and draw that power from my core that the teacher says we draw from to move things."

She took a deep breath and exhaled. "I was frustrated I couldn't use calm the first time. When I got mad at myself, the power flowed and I nearly threw the crate across the room. It took me by surprise, that's all. But once I knew that's what it was, I was able to cover it. Keep my face calm looking while I let the stronger emotions roll in me. It was..." she bit back a laugh, "it was amazing! Something tells me I could lift something really heavy and throw it across a field if I was really mad."

While she was calm, sitting before him, her mind was racing with the idea that if she could be mad, but still maintain control on her emotions, she would be pretty powerful one day.

... if Ezra didn't kick her out before hand.

The serpent around her stomach moved enough to remind her it was there, and she left her hand moving to her midsection as it stroking it would soothe it.

"This source of power, based on so called dark emotions, is traditionally, and historically, referred to as the 'dark side' of the force, with the calmer and peaceful mindset being the 'light side'. It is my understanding that both practices have merit. It comes down to the individual and what works for them. There are pit falls to either side. Become too apathetic and peaceful and you risk becoming so impartial that nothing is a threat, nothing is a goal. You become a sage on a mountaintop dispensing wisdom but accomplishing nothing else. You cease to be a person. On the other side if you become so consumed with your rage that you lose your humanity you will never accomplish anything but acts of violence and cruelty. You become a hammer that can only be used to crush. This is hardly a life."

Ezra had seen those extremes. Sith who had become so consumed with themselves, the darkside, and their own petty emotions that they were incapable of doing anything beyond crushing their enemies. They become obsessed with war and battle, and in the end, after the dust had cleared, all their enemies were dead, but they had no empire at their back. They could not built with hands made only to destroy. They fought with a double edged sword that cut themselves with every strike. Their blood salted the earth beneath them. If left to their own devices they would see the galaxy devoid of life. Ezra could not agree with that goal. There was so much more to life, and the darkside, than simply killing everyone. It was a petty and selfish goal.

"That is why we teach control above all other things. Great things have been accomplished through the so called darkside of the force. I encourage you to use what works best for you. Make no mistake, Jinsala. You will encounter hardship because of it. After such horrible bloodshed during the Sith Wars and the late Palpatine's rule people are very distrusting of the darkside. They associate it with bloodthirsty thugs and murderers. The masses believe everything is so black and white, and that the lightside and the Jedi are saviors and saints, and that at the other side of the spectrum the darkside creates only criminals and demons. Your teachers may not understand. Most of them prefer other methods. However, I am not so shortsighted. If you like I can tutor you privately to help you learn the control you lack."