Orenji no Taiyou

Asher smiled at him, for some reason she felt nervous like she had bee n too personal in asking where he slept, but it was for a reason...sorta.

"Roman can sleep upstairs. He has a hard time if there is a lot of noise. I will sleep down here since I barely sleep good at night anyhow. I'm a night person." She again indulged in giving Haruko information that he probably didn't want to know, or need to. She smiled a bit excited to say she was going to be sleeping near Haruko. Her crush on him was awful. It had only been three days of knowing him yet for some reason it felt like more.

"If you don't mind if I sleep next to you?" Asher's cheeks went red, why would he mind? That was an idiot statement if she ever thought of one, but the butterflies in her stomach were overwhelming and it was taking over her ability to construct good intelligent sentences.

For a moment she just lookd at him basked in his beauty and suddenly the silence got to her and the only thing she could think of was what had happened to her eariler that morning.

"Thank you for today, Haruko."

Haruko looked down at her, a sudden swell of love for her threatening his composure. He couldn't help what his body did. It had a mind of its own, and when he stepped forward, and wrapped his arms around her and gave her a gentle kiss, he had not done it exactly intentionally, although he had wanted to, his body did it on its own. Like a very big Freudian Slip. But one that he was somehow glad he had made.

When he pulled away from her, he buried his nose in her shoulder and held her close to him, not wanting to let her go. Not wanting her to ever be treated so poorly again. He would never let her be treated like that again, if it were the last thing he did.

"You don't deserve that, Asher...you are so much better than that..." he paused, taking a deep breath. "I'll never let anyone hurt you like that again."

Asher moved so she could look into his eyes, the bionic eye shimmering as if it were truly real. She felt a shiver creep down her spine as her heart sped up and her breathing began to quicken. No doctor or practitioner could explain the bodies reaction to liking someone so much. Her heart was aching to touch him, smell him, feel him...love him.

"What I deserve..." She bit her lower lip and knew not to say it, knew that it would probably freak him out, cause him to panic but how she wanted to just go ahead and say it! Her mind was telling her to, but she didn't think she could have the urge and courage to just come right out and say it.

Asher allowed her body take over, she touched his face and gave him a kiss and moved into a hug, her mouth by his ear. This was the most ignorant thing she could do, but it would make her feel better. She licked her lips and spoke lowly, afraid someone might hear even Haruko.

"What I deserve is someone like you."

Haruko hunched his shoulders slightly in her grip, holding her close to him, his heart, mind, body, and soul aching for her words to be true. He wanted to be what she deserved. He wanted to deserve her. He wanted all of this, all of her. He wanted Asher.

Haruko nuzzled her neck slightly, blinking a few times to clear his mind. He moved closer to her. He was already so close, he didn't know if getting even more so was humanly possible. But he wanted to be as close to her as he could get. He wanted to be part of her, wanted her to be his respite, and be hers in return. He chewed his lip as he leaned back just slightly to kiss her face, then put his own mouth next to her ear, finding himself slightly breathless.

"I want to be who you deserve, Asher. More than you could ever know," he whispered, suddenly feeling a little in over his head. He had never been so truthful in all his life, had never said something so close to his heart, that lay in the very depths. He had never been, never felt, so raw with anyone but Asher.

Asher smiled and hugged him tightly enjoying the whispering as if this were making things more intimate and to be honest it was. She ran her hands through his hair and moved to kiss his face slowly moving around until she found his mouth. She kissed gently and carefully afraid that she would break him. Asher wanted to be his and only his, wanted him to tell people that she belonged to him and nobody else. Asher closed her eyes and got lost in thought, lost in Haruko and everything that she had learned about him. She wanted to know more, wanted to somehow be as close to him as she humanly could...she wanted to be his everything and the same in return.

Asher moved to the other side of his face and kissed him up his neck until she reached his ear, continuing the whispering. "I want to take care of you, Haru." She didn't think she wanted anything so bad in all her life than to be the main supplier of life in Haruko because it was easy to accept that Haruko was her air supply.

Haruko bit his lip and stared down at the floor, keeping his hold on her tight, as if someone might come and steal her away from him. Haruko felt more for this woman in just the space of a few days than he had for any lover he'd known years. Haruko's past was hard, it was ugly, it was gruesome and gory. Its details made even he sick. But he knew that if he wanted to share anything with anyone, he wanted to share it with Asher Perez.

Haruko couldn't get his breath back to say anything to her in return for what she had said, but he hoped that she could read him easier than he could her. He felt so exposed, he found it hard to believe she wouldn't be able to do anything but read him like a completely open book.

I love you Asher. I love you, and I want to tell you...I want to tell you but I can't...

Asher kept holding him for a moment, but when her mind got the best of her she realized she was probably too forward and too blunt for his tastes. She slowly moved out of his embrace and pushed her hair behind her ears and felt her face grow red with embarassment. She didn't know what to do now that she had revealed something so emotionally truthful she knew he was going to freak out and tell her that she was moving too fast.

"I am sorry, Haruko." She crossed her arms and looked at him feeling like she had somehow violated his personal space. "I didn't mean to be so...bold." But it is true! I want to take care of you! I want to be there for you, always. Her mind was screaming at her to not be so stupid, to stop acting like she had done something shameful and wrong. If she had her way Haruko would tell her the same, tell her something she had never heard before in her life, but that had to have been her wishful thinking.

"It may seem really stupid of me to say that, but I am serious. I don't think I've ever wanted to take care of someone so bad." I want to be the person you come to for whatever reason. If she didn't straighten up she wouldn't be staying anywhere tonight.

Haruko shook his head, his eyes still on the carpet. Oh, god, she didn't know what this conversation was doing to to him. What she did to him. How he wanted tonever let her go. Never wanted anyone but her to in fact take care of him. He wanted to tell her so badly what he felt, how he felt.

I love you, Asher. I love you, and I want to tell you...I want to tell you but I can't...

The words repeated over and over in his mind. He wanted to just spit it out. It had never bothered him before, he had never not been blunt and obvious and stated what he felt when he felt it and how. But now, in the presence of Asher, everything was haywire. Everything was messed up. It was like being caught in an ocean wave and unable to stay anchored in the sand when the ocean was pulling so hard on you to take you with it.

And he didn't want to resist, didn't want to keep it inside himself, but something kept him from telling her exactly how much he cared about her, that he wanted to be more than just good friends. That he wanted her in the most pure and natural way. Haruko could not say it. Couldn't tell her. He didn't know why, but he didn't feel good enough. She didn't deserve someone like him. She deserved someone stable and well off, with a good history, and a better future. Or at least the promise of a future at all. Haruko wasn't even positive he had a horizon. And if he did, then the sun was not showing over it.

Haruko didn't say anything, he just put his arms back around her and held her, the fear of the lonliness he would feel when they had to part on Coruscant suddenly becoming fully realized. He shook his head again and let out a deep breath.

"There is nothing that you ever need to be sorry to me for, Asher. Nothing, ever."