Market Day on the Smuggler's Moon

[Kvettch]

(OOC - anyone want in, PM me first. But title, location and desired acquisition mentioned in this post should make it clear what this is about.)
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{Place stinks} Ugmush grunted. And coming from a Gamorrean, that really meant something.

He was currently shuffling through a pile of trash on a narrow sidewalk on the Vertical City's 370th level, trying to get through to the specific square they'd been told to go to. The Bundle on his shoulders contained his boss, who was engaged in whistling in an off-key sort of manner rubbed Ugmush wrong in some way and made him even more irritated.

Kvettch had decided this morning that he was lonely. A Gamorrean is only good company sometimes, he had decided. And the Voodoo Heart was big; the crew had grown, but the ship still had plenty of space and the crew was all spread out. And so Kvettch had decided that he wanted some company - female company, to be specific.

But female company isn't easy to come by, especially for a full-body bald Ewok far away from his planet. So Kvettch had decided to follow in the footsteps of other famous villains in the galaxy - he was about to get himself a slave girl.

"Move fasterrr, move fasterrrr!"

With the loose-swinging end of his harness-belt, he slapped his poor carrier.

{Ewok walk himself!} Ugmush grunted, but moved faster. It was an ongoing argument between them, dulled by years of companionship - nothing but a verbal battle these days. He trudged on, the goal finally in sight.

[Yurga the Hutt]

:: It was Market Day, and Yurga oversaw the Lot of slaves for sale personally. They were divided into three groups. Domestic Labor, Pit Fighters, and Pleasure Slaves. It was this third group that would fetch the highest profit ::

[Kvettch]

{Ugly} remarked the Gamorrean, eyeing up a troupe of Twi'lek dancers overtaking him. They were led in chains, with binders on their wrists.

"Ngo. They'rrre ngece. You ongly leke stupid sows!" his boss replied from up above.

Ugmush gave an ugly shake which made the harness chair wobble precariously and caused his boss to squeal out loudly, causing several passersby to stare.

{No meat. Sows nice.} Ugmush grumbled, and walked over to the first place that had a group of girls standing idly by, ducking his head a couple of times to avoid being hit with that strap again.

"They es ngece gerls for me. Eh dong't want sows. We go find onge there."

Kvettch eyed up the gaggle of girls - mostly Twi'lek and human - and tried to appraise them, but there was an obvious problem:

He was an Ewok. He had no idea what was considered good-looking in those females. They were so big and so hairless. He would need help. Where was their owner?

[Yurga the Hutt]

:: The odd duo was spotted by Bula, a Dug who served as Yurga's assistant. ::

"You here to buy wooman, yes?"

:: He didn't wait for an answer, but led them to where the great hutt sat in an ornate hoversled ::

[Kvettch]

Ugmush obediently followed the odd creature, every now and then taking a furtive look left and right to check where it was they were being led to. Kvettch just sat up there on his shoulders and smirked. This was going well.

When they got to the Hutt, Kvettch hoped he spoke basic because he couldn't understand Huttese so well. It was a shortcoming he was hoping to overcome soon.

"Kvettch says good day to your Bloatedngess! Kvettch wangts to buy female."

[Yurga the Hutt]

:: Yurga laughed loud and heartily, holding a translator module in his hand ::

"YES, I BELIEVE I HAVE A FEW THAT WILL BE TO YOUR LIKING. BRED FROM MY FINEST STOCK."

:: He gestured for his slavemaster, a Vratix, to bring out six of them for Kvettch to appraise ::

[Kvettch]

Yes but there exactly was Kvettch's problem - how would he be able to tell which one he would like? They were all so unlike his usual type, nevermind so tall.

But it wouldn't do to show his disadvantage, so he nodded to the Hutt.

"Kvettch agrees. He looks at your fengest stock theng."

[Yurga the Hutt]

:: The women were scantily clad in metal bikinis and slave collars. They were, as the Great Hutt prided himself on, bred over many generations to be strikingly beautiful. They were educated as Carafel on Zeltron, and Yurga kept a number of them to serve in his personal harem ::

[Rylard 'Lardo' Tenf]

Rylard, the Iridonian pilot of the Kvettch's ship, had fallen behind his Captain while they browsed the market. Lardo's gaze had caught a lovely pair on a Zabrak slave and he stopped to look the woman over. Shortly after he'd been asked by the merchant if he was interested in a purchase. It shocked him then and there that he was contemplating purchasing a slave, an action he found rather immoral. C'mon. Look at her, she could be yours, or you could do the right thing.

"Eight thousand for her." he said a little unsure.

His boss seemed to be in a similar situation up ahead, the Ewok didn't seem to have a lot of interest in women nearly twice his size. He did have a pretty good vantage point for judging 'em though. Maybe he'd luck out and find a short bundle of fun. Lardo watched the hairless thing from Endor's moon converse with the Hutt running the show. After Rylard's own purchase was made he would check up on his boss' deal.

[Kvettch]

The Ewok eyed the line-up of females with some bemusement. From his high vantage point on top of the Gamorrean's shoulders, he was actually able to look down on them all, and the first impression he'd got was they all possessed a fine head of fur. Just as the females on his homeplanet had different coloration, so these humanoid females had fur of all colors, and then some. Green, pink, bright silver, white, blue - he'd never seen them on an Ewok female, and wondered if it was something only humanoids could grow.

The furless faces and bodies were less odd to him than he would have expected but spending years in the company of humanoids had dulled his indigenous instincts a bit.

"Hyuuuuuuuurbbbbb....", he mumbled under his breath, it being a sort of blubbering noise he often made when thinking.

He didn't know what to say really.... they all seemed almost as naked as him, and very hairless except for the fur on top. They all had different faces, and some were dark and some were light and some were extremely dark and some were extremely light and some were green and blue and.... how was he ever going to be able to tell which one he was supposed to find nice???

"What cang gerls do for Kvettch?"

He finally thought he'd found a good question to ask the Hutt - at least it was buying him some more time.

[O.W. Outcast]

OW was oggling the women from under a nearby table. He didn't really need any more women, he had Varla and Tirsa. Yet he still liked to look and sometimes touch when Yurga wasn't looking. He used to have slave girls but he always had a problem with freeing them and then they ran off on him. Dam his good criminal heart.

He over heard the naked mole rat on top of a giant pig man pose a question to a Hutt that he wasn't aware was Yurga. A question only a master uber smoothness towards women could answer. So stepped out from under the table and darted straight for the Gamorrean with the naked rat on it's shoulders. He then began talking to the Gamorrean thinking that was where the question had come from.

"Well Mr. Piggy, let me tell you what women can do for you."

Just then he realized the hutt next to him was Yurga. OW just shuddered when he saw the fat slug. His image caused OW's mind to start wondering. Why had he accidentally looked at Varla's client list and realized he was one of them. His mind raced with all the horribly disgusting things he must be doing to his Varla when she was on business. If his eyes could bulge any farther out of his head they would have popped out thinking about the horrible images in his head.

"Uh hello Yurga. Anyway for a man er... pig your size. You might want to invest in a woman that you won't break in half. Women are great for allot of reason's they offer companionship, sometimes even great partners in crime. If crime is your game of course I don't want accuse you of nothing.

Also the groove is great if you catch my drift. Now me personally if I didn't already have two lovely women I would by all of these women if I could afford them. But for you my green pig dude I would go with something a little bigger then these ladies. Cause the last thing you want to do is crush one of these ladies under your weight."

OW winked at the lovely looking slave girls that where out in front. Oh he wished he could at least take a couple home but Tirsa would probably get angry with one or two of them. Then there would be trouble and OW didn't want to have apologize to Tirsa, even though the making up part didn't sound to bad.

"By the way nice mole rat you got on your shoulders. What's it's name and where did you get it I might have to buy my woman one or maybe two?"

[Kvettch]

Ugmush wasn't the smartest of all Gamorreans. Which, as a whole, wasn't a race renowned for their general cleverness anyway, so that put Ugmush's intelligence probably somewhere down low and on a level with the average rancor fodder. In a situation like this it meant that he was still standing there drooling slightly out of the corners of his snout trying to understand what this strange thing was saying, when his master and commander was already yubbing his little brain off in one apoplectic fit. All he reflexively thought of doing was trying to pull his head in between his shoulders and cover it with his swarty arms to protect himself from Kvettch's flailing feet.

"Dngrb??? KVETTCH NGOT MOLE RAT! Hyrnnnnnnnnng! YOU DIE! Aiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiieeeeeeeeeeehhh!"

The little creature was in such a rage that he lost all of his short-tempered control and squeezed off a few bolts of blasterfire, which of course went nowhere near the Duro because he was far too angry to take the time to aim properly at anything.

Just then finally Ugmush caught on and, unexpectedly to probably anyone but himself, he gave off a belly-shaking guffaw and let go of his head to slap his large paunch with amusement.

{Uhhhh---hahahahahaahahahahahaah! Funny! Uhhh hahahahaahahaha!}

[Yurga the Hutt]

:: The odd pair of aliens suddenly found themselves ringed by the barrels of blaster pistols as Yurga's guards encircled them ::

[O.W. Outcast]

OW finally caught on just as he was fired at. Well sorta cause the blaster fire went in all different directions not even coming close to him. Then Yurga's guards where encircling them. He was a bit taken back by the talking not a mole rat. He still wasn't sure what it was but it was a temperamental.

"It's alright Yurga you can call of your guards."

OW didn't feel to threatened; I mean he did insult the funny little naked thing on the pig’s shoulders. Still the Gamorrean's talking naked thing did fire at him despite being a horrible shot. Well the pervert that had been touching himself at the table was dead but no loss there.

"I'm sorry I was not aware you could speak. I thought you where this Gamorrean’s Exotic pet or something. I didn't realize Gamorrean babies where so naked, could speak, or fire blasters. My bad I will try to remember they get dumber with age from now on."

He was semi sure it was a Gamorrean baby now but still not a hundred percent sure. Cause well it really didn't look like it could grow up to be a pig man. Although it was just about as ugly as a Gamorrean. Yet it still had the naked Mole rat cuteness factor.

"Maybe me and my women will have to adopt a Gamorrean baby?"

Did he just say that out loud, oh well to late now?

[Kvettch]

"Ooootah! NGOOOOOOOOOO BABBBBY!"

And quite oblivious to the surrounding weapons aimed at him, Kvettch this time took aim. Right now it was between himself and this red-eyed midget. As if being mistaken for a mole rat wasn't enough, now he was supposed to be an infant, and a Gamorrean one at that???

Huffing and warbling nasty curses in his native language at the creature, Kvettch was doing his best to get a steady lock on the frelling thing but Ugmush under him was still heaving with great spurts of laughter, and it kept shaking the harness around making aiming at anything impossible.

"KVARK!" he finally growled, and let go of the blaster in disgust. Mumbling "Oody eshtee a hat chaaa, " he gave a large shudder and then decided that he'd need to deal with the more immediate problem of getting his Gamorrean under control first before he could do anything about the alien thing. So he started kicking and punching Ugmush in his flabby neck.

"Hrrrrarrrrarrr----Oooooof!", the Gamorrean interrupted himself in mid-laugh, and went back to trying to protect his own head.

"Ata ATA!" Kvettch was still warbling, smacking Ugmush's head with the harness strap. "YOU stop MOVENGENG!! Yaaaay yah yalah!"

When the Gamorrean under him was finally still, Kvettch turned his beady little eyes (and his blaster) back onto the midget-sized pouchy looking thing, and took great care to pronounce his words the proper way to make the thing understand once and for all just who it was talking to.

"Yub! Kvettch es---- Eh - am- ang - Ewok! Ngo Mole rat! Ngo Baby! Ngo Gamorrean! E-W-O-K! Thes --" ---he pointed the muzzle of his blaster downwards onto Ugmush's head ---" es Gamorreang! Gamorreangs have sngouts! Thes --" -- muzzle pointing at himself now -- "-- es mouth! OF ANG EWOK! Get et??!?"

[Yurga the Hutt]

"DROP THE BLASTOH!!!" boomed Yurga. His men closed the circle tighter to get their attention.

[O.W. Outcast]

OW started laughing as he slipped between the legs of one of Yurga's men moving into a tighter circle. There great part about being small was being able to sneak between people’s legs and evade being shot. His laughter continued but it seemed to be moving around the outside of the circle of guards.

"A naked Ewok that's a good one." Hahahaha

He continued to laughing hysterically almost to the point he felt like dropping to the ground and banging his fist and feet in a fit of it.

"Did you here that one Yurga. The Baby naked mole pig rat thing thinks it's an Ewok. Ewok's have fur, it's bald." Hahahaha

He like this little naked mole rat baby thing. It made him laugh in almost to the point of a fit. Tirsa would so love it too, he knew it.

"Yurga I will pay Forty thousand Credits for it. But take the dang things blaster away before it blows it's own head off." Hahahaha "You shouldn't give babies blasters there grown up toy's. I changed my mind Yurga sixty thousand if you put in a diaper." Hahahaha

[Kvettch]

Kvettch's indignation had reached a level where keeping his temper in check was no longer any option at all. He was bucking and throwing himself around in the harness on top of his Gamorrean, shaking with rage and foaming at the mouth as he kept yelling curses in Ewokese at the offensive creature.

Ugmush was doing his best to stay upright, and he - unlike his raving master - had become painfully aware of all the blasters aimed at them, but trying to get the Ewok's attention at this point was almost impossible.

[Don't shoot! Don't shoot!], he yelled at the ring of Yarga's enforcers, hoping they would understand his accented Basic.

At last he managed to get a hold of the free-swinging Blaster, and by pulling at it as hard as he could, almost yanked the Ewok out of his seat. Which did get his attention, at last, as Kvettch suddenly had nothing but the native mud and a couple of inches of belly fat and two large feet in his line of sight as he was hanging face-forward over the Gamorrean's left shoulder, with his tiny stumpy legs kicking ineffectively in the air.

"EEEEeeeeeh cha wammaaaaaaa!!! PUT KVETTCH DOWNG!!!"

[Yurga the Hutt]

"ENOUGH!!! Yurga bellowed. "NO WOMEN FOR YOU TODAY!!!"

:: Rising up in his hoversled, he began to leave as his slavemaster cleared the stage ::

[Kvettch]

That got another reaction out of Kvettch. Still hanging over Ugmush's shoulder, he raised his head up as high as he could and stuck his arm out as if he was anywhere close enough to grab the Hutt and hold him back. The raging instantly turned into a wheedly kind of whine, as he tried to implore the Hutt to stay.

"Y chubba! Ngoooooooooooo! You stay! Kvettch well pay good credits! Gyeesh -Pleeeease!"

The Gamorrean, acting out of instinct, backed up Kvettch's words by falling into a trotting gait and following the Hutt so his Master could talk to him better.