A Bridge To...?(Adelaide)

[Aurelias Kazaar]

Kazaar smirked. "Yeh ya always liked goin' out on th'sea. Something 'bout it seemed t'calm ya down." It'd actually been th'first thing she'd done when Adelaide told him she was leaving. She'd gone out onna boat, alone, and sat in th'middle of the sea for almost a week. 'Course Kazaar didn't know that, but it was th'best way t'disappear'. Outside o'getting lit up on Nal Hutta like th'former bounty hunter had done. That hadn't been fun.

"What was Bren like, Del?" Closest he was ever gonna get t'knowing his son. Th'thought of that caused him t'close his black eyes a moment 'n drink his caf real quick.

[Adelaide Kasperian-Kazaar]

"Drink up" she said, doing so herself, "It'll be easier for me to show you"

*****************

They had left Ma's diner just as some of the rain clouds were beginning to break up over the township, but the sky heading out to the coast was still every bit as baleful as before.

"The storm will eventually roll out to sea" Adelaide assured Kazaar as they drove, "But we're in for some more soaking yet"

True as predicted, the rain came down in bucketfulls the closer they got to the Bay where Adelaide's house was located. The speeder rocked from the occassional buffeting wind, but overall, the sensation of feeling insulated and safe from the barrage of the elements prevailed.

'Bren swam, you know" she told Aurelias, as the ocean opened up to view once they crested the last hill. "He wasn't very strong, but he had good technique. He would be in the water every chance he got. But not on a day like today of course. There, thats our place on the right" Adelaide pointed to a neat little house set back from the edge of a weather-worn road. Directly opposite was the beach with an access pathway etched out over years of usage. Whispy seagrass bent and twisted in the wind, bowing from atop the white sand dunes in humility to the frothing grey sea it fringed.

"You can pull round the back in the shed" she instructed.

This was home. Her home. And Bren's. If Aurelias was to know anything about his son - who he was, what he'd hoped and dreamed and loved - it would be discovered here, in his place with all his things. Bren lived here, and was a part of everything present around here. And he would speak to his father from the place that knew him best.

[Aurelias Kazaar]

Kazaar exited th'speeder, just as a burst of wind sent a sheet of water off th'roof and into his face. He let outta curse, then gave a half-turn as laughter came from behind 'im. Adelaide's smile was larger than before, even under th'circumstances of his visit, and it was pretty obvious she found th'entire situation amusin'. "Glad t'provide ya some entertainment." He growled as he splashed water offa his jacket.


Del apologized 'bout as well as someone could who was almost grippin' her sides in amusement, then let it fade as she started rememberin' there wasn't someone t'greet her at home. Or someone else t'share her amusement. She led Kazaar inside, pausing a moment t'remove her jacket, and Kazaar did th'same, tossin' it on a wooden chair near th'door. The homeowner glared at her visitor as she picked up his jacket. Same ol' Kazaar. Del thought, as she put it on the coat rack.

Kazaar took a moment t'stare 'round the house. "Pretty quaint place, Del. Looks like ya made a nice, tidy life for yaself."

[Adelaide Kasperian-Kazaar]

Adelaide looked around the room, trying to see it as Kazaar might. It was hard to do, look with fresh eyes on something so familiar that she could walk through it blindfolded and describe every turn and account for every chair, table, knick-knack etc. Taking a moment, she shook Kazaar's dripping coat where it hung in order to remove some of the water, then bent to remove her boots.

"Its cozy and warm" she agreed finally. "We were happy here"

The furnishings were simple and functional and small touches of lace in the curtains and photographs of family and friends made it welcoming and homey.

"There's a fire set, the matches are just on the mantle. It will help dry us out" she said, pushing her dampened hair back off her face.

As Aurelias moved to do as she suggested, Adelaide found her breath had caught in her chest. Seeing him here, in this setting, was something she had always tried not to imagine - it had just not been in the cards and she had always striven to save herself the heartache of not wishing for things that would never be. But now, now.

"You hungry?" she forced herself to say.

[Aurelias Kazaar]

"Nah," Kazaar answered, as he lit one of th'matches. "Not real hungry." It was amazin' this was a real wooden fireplace. Not th'kind at the Russard building which simply lit with a touch of a button. Kazaar threw it on th'fire and th'flames started licking at the wood. Not satisfied, Adelaide's former (and current) husband threw another lit match on th'logs. "Grabbed somethin' t'eat before headin' to the cemetery."

He turned around t'face her. "Hey...you all right?"

[Adelaide Kasperian-Kazaar]

Was she alright? Of course she wasn't alright.

"Yeah, I'm good" she replied as light as she could.

It was just as well he wasn't hungry, Adelaide hadn't had anything that could remotely be called an appetite these past few weeks and the house was stocked sparingly. There was a couple bottles of Corellian beer in the cooler, a dozen eggs, but not much else. Still, an omlette would have served - Adelaide was a near-expert at making an omlette.

Moving into the hallway momentarily, she reached into the linen closet and retrieved a towel. "Use this" she said to Aurelias, coming to stand beside him at the fireplace and handing it to him. His thick black hair was dripping water down his shirt collar, though he didn't really seem to notice. After scrubbing his head roughly, his hair now angled in madcap array, he slung the towel to hang around his neck, holding on to either end with his hands. They both looked for a while into the dancing flames, and the fires warmth began to penetrate the chill.

"C'mon," Del said after they had been standing quiet a while, "I'll show you Bren's room"

[Aurelias Kazaar]

Kazaar shook his head t'his right, flingin' a bit of water off his semi-dry hair. It connected with window, barely making a sound, and Kazaar took a step away from the fire. "Yeh let's go." He was led up the small staircase into a hallway seemingly built for either a retired fisherman or a woman and her young child. The door to Bren's room was open, as if Del never wanted to forget her son existed, and Kazaar stepped in, Adelaide waiting for him to take it all in alone.

Th'room pretty much looked like an eight-year-old lived in it. Kazaar was proud t'see the banner of the SC Votrad Spacers, its logo of a spaceman holding a blaster rifle prominent, just above Bren's bed. A poster of a Quadrijet podracer lined th'other edge of the room, plus Kazaar spotted several models still on his dead son's dresser.

"He ever get t'see 'em live?"

[Adelaide Kasperian-Kazaar]

el shook her head "no" as she leaned against the door jamb, allowing Kazaar to explore Bren's room without her.

"Not at an actual race, that is. There was an Enthusiasts roadshow that came to town about 18 months ago. We -- me and Chuck, the old guy who lives in the next house from us - took Bren to see it. He's raised five daughters, so you can imagine, he had lots of time for Bren. There were atleast twenty-five racers on display. The big Event was being held in the Driedent Sector and tickets were near-unobtainable for folks like us, so we settled for just a look at them" Adelaide smiled, "Bren was beside himself with excitement, he even got to sit in one. Im afraid it quite cemented his ambition to be a racer himself. Or failing that, a fighter pilot." She took her time speaking of Bren, enjoying the image of him on that day. "He made that one himself, no help from anyone, as he would be quick to tell you" she explained, referring to the small model Kazaar had just lifted from a free-standing podium that held prominent place in the little room.


"He liked the speed of things, as you can see. I think he would have become very mechanically astute. He sure knew every tool this side of the outer rim."

[Aurelias Kazaar]

"Good t'know he got ya mechanical smarts." Kazaar joked as his rough hands went over th'model again, feeling its texture. The paint job was a lot better'n one a seven-year-old shoulda been able t'do, but the Rebel spy had a pretty good idea Bren'd taken time on th'project. Those types o'projects, like puttin' together a blaster or holdin' onto th'steering wheel of th'first speeder ya ever got, always took time. "Looks like ya did a helluva job raisin' him, Del." His hands felt th'pod racer model again. "Good work."

His eyes darkened a moment as he remembered somethin' Crei'd taunted him with during their failed attempt at killing each other. "Th'Albino ever take 'im somewhere?"

[Adelaide Kasperian-Kazaar]

Adelaide fixed him with such an expressive look, Kazaar couldn't decide if it was a warning or a plea, "Don't bring him in here, Aurelias"

[Aurelias Kazaar]

Kazaar sighed 'n set the model back up on its moorings. "Fine." He gave his own 'look'. "We won't talk 'bout him 'here'." Then he walked five paces out into th'hallway, his look sayin' it all. He wanted th'question answered.

[Adelaide Kasperian-Kazaar]

Here we go..Del lingered against the door jamb for a moment, unwilling to walk out of Bren's room like it was just some place and not the sacred space that she had made it.

Turning eventually and stepping from the room, Adelaide knew what was coming, she recognized the signs, even after all these years. Kazaar was spoiling for a fight.

"What does it even matter?" she said, pre-empting a repeat of the question. "The Albino worked his plan and his plan worked. The details dont matter"

[Aurelias Kazaar]

Yeh. Kazaar didn't say. 'Cept for th'fact th'two of us're still talking and I'm still breathin'.

"Matters t'me Del." His hard look remained, but it was tinged with something, Adelaide couldn't quite recognize. Pain or anger, maybe both. "Damn pasty-faced schuttascum said he'd gotten t'spend time with Bren. Just wanna hear from ya lips whether it's true or not and why th'frack would ya let a guy like Crei spend time with Bren?"

[Adelaide Kasperian-Kazaar]

"He didn't spend time with him" she said, dismissing the idea as absurd. Kazaar's face redenned angrily and Adelaide expounded quickly in order to diffuse things.

"You have to remember, Crei got to us through my parents. I think once he gave my folks tickets to a slamball game and they took Bren along. It's one of the rare times I got a night or two to myself - I never left Bren with anyone except my family" She moved off down the hall to a little room, no bigger than a walk-in closet. In it was a desk, a small monitor, a swivel chair and suitcase-sized fishtank.

"I home schooled Bren. His condition made it dodgy to go to school, the usual childhood bumps and scrapes could set Bren back for weeks or months, so we did our best to avoid them." She gestured to the monitor, "Bren went to 'virtual' school and participated in class like everyone else. He even had a social life, that kid looooved to talk. He was a big fan of the knock-knock jokes."

Adelaide moved off from the small room and headed back down the hallway to the stairs.

"We were pretty much inseparable, Bren and me, Kazaar" she said with a voice that suddenly was shaking. "I took really good care of him. I really did"

[Aurelias Kazaar]

Kazaar wasn't convinced, but something in th'way Del said it made him think he needed t'believe 'er. Or 'least try to. 'Course why th'frack was he even listening t'something the Albino taunted him with, made no sense, but it was th'way Crei'd sneered when he said it...made Kazaar think. He followed her down th'stairs, his feet making th'wooden stairs *creek* as he did.

"I'm sure ya did, Delly." He nodded, as his ex-ex-wife placed a hand on th'banister for support. "I'm sure ya did a fantastic job at raisin' him. Ya always were th'motherin' type." Kazaar eased himself down onto th'stairs, his legs sprawling out on 'em. "I mean that inna nice way, ya know."

[Adelaide Kasperian-Kazaar]

"I know" she replied, meaning it.

She lowered herself down to sit beside him on the steps, his frame stretched outwards long and easy, hers was crouched, tucked inwards small and neat. They listened together as the rain tapped against the windows, its strength atlast beginning to wane.

"Storm's almost done" Adelaide observed.

[Aurelias Kazaar]

Kazaar nodded, his head peerin' up towards th'roof. He stretched his muscular arms backwards and closed his eyes for a moment. He wasn't one t'dwell on things, 'least not stuff like this, but for th'briefiest o'time, the shortest of seconds, he saw somethin': Adelaide, Bren, and himself sittin' in this house enjoyin' a lifetime together. Growin' old, tendin' t'bumps and bruises, takin' Bren to smashball games and out on th'lake. But it was all an illusion, all fake, all wishful thinkin'.

Kazaar shook his head a moment, feelin' tears startin' t'come up in his eyes, which he quickly dashed away with a thought. "Yeh, guess it is goin' away." He answered unneccessarily. "Want that omelet now? Gettin' kinda hungry."

[Adelaide Kasperian-Kazaar]

She was glad to have something to do. Adelaide couldn't read Kazaar's thoughts, but it wasn't difficult to get a feel of what he'd been thinking. She knew that 'what if' look she had briefly glimpsed in his eyes, she'd seen it reflected often enough in her own.

Over the past eight years, there'd been times when she'd stood in front of a mirror, a woman she didn't always recognize looking back at her. Physically she hadn't changed all that much over the years - a little older maybe, a little less baby-faced. But it was the inner Adelaide that sometimes was lost to her, swallowed up some place in the decisions she'd made and shadowed by the difficult road she'd chosen. Many times, thoughts of 'what if' would worry at her and leave her feeling uncertain and hollow.

Adelaide moved off into the kitchen and began rattling out a pan from the cupboards and whisking up some eggs. She talked, turning half over her shoulder tossing conversation to Aurelias as she worked.

"So, what'd you do after Gorgja?"

[Aurelias Kazaar]

"Bounced 'round a little." Kazaar answered, takin' a sip of his cup of caf. "Corellia. Kuat. Buncha other places. Mainly went back t'takin' a contract here'n there, but nothin' major." Another sip, then Kazaar refilled his cup, takin' the time to refill Del's also. "Ya know I got tossed inna Rebel prison f'something I did to an Imperial?!?" His smirk turned even more bitter. "Ya think they'd give outta medal or 'least some creds f'that.

"Got released after doin' m'time, then Gorgja told me 'bout th'bounty on the Kid. So I did that." He shrugged. "Like I said...nothin' major."

[Adelaide Kasperian-Kazaar]

The Kid.

"Tell me about her" Del said, grating the cheese with a will.